Stuff White People Like by Christian Lander

Author:Christian Lander
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Popular culture - United States, Humor, Race identity, Whites, Popular Culture, Satire And Humor, Topic - Adult, Race awareness, General, Topic, Adult, Whites - United States, American wit and humor
ISBN: 9780812979916
Publisher: Random House, Inc.
Published: 2008-07-01T05:00:00+00:00

85 The Wire

Though white people have a natural aversion to TV, there are some exceptions. For white people to like a TV show it helps if it is critically acclaimed, low-rated, shown on premium cable, and/or available as a DVD box set.

The latter is important so that white people can order it from Netflix and tell their friends, “I’m really into [insert series] and I watched ten episodes in a row this weekend. I’m almost caught up.”

If you attempt to talk about an episode they have not seen yet, they will scream and cover their ears. In white culture, giving away information about a film or TV series is considered as rude as spitting on your mother’s grave. It is an unforgivable offense. Recent series that have fallen into this category include The Sopranos, Six Feet Under, and most recently The Wire.

For the past three years, whenever you say “The Wire,” white people are required to respond by saying “It’s the best show on television.” Try it the next time you see a white person! Though now they might say “It was the best show on television.”

So why do they love it so much? It all comes down to authenticity. A long time ago, someone started a rumor that when The Wire is on TV, actual police wires go quiet because all the dealers are watching the show. Though this is not true, it seems plausible enough to white people and has imbued the show with the needed authenticity to be deemed acceptable.

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